Unwavering

 

I am a fighter, and I have yet to lose a battle. 

 

un·wa·ver·ing

ˌənˈwāv(ə)riNG/

adjective

adjective: unwavering

  1. steady or resolute; not wavering.

Here’s a universal truth about Crystal Gail Welcome (yes, third-person language). I’d like to think that all of this training leads me back to you. I’ve been lost for two years now; I remember who I was – who I am. I’m a runner, and I’m waking up GPS in hand. Thank you for never giving up on me. For the record, I’ve not given up on you.

I’m determined. I am a fighter, and I refuse to lose. Hold tight, of course, this is a marathon. 26.2 thoughts all lead to you. . . Crazy! My longest run to date is 16 miles, not quite long enough to compete. Those 10.2 miles are filled with stones, gravel, and grit. No matter how hard I’ve trained, I’ve never run this far… I’m both excited and terrified. OMG! Think about it, 26.2 miles is a long way, and there’s a lot to process along the way. My brain that never sleeps has a long time to think about things. I’ll keep running towards the finish, duh, it’s one hell of a medal. Let’s do this, mile by mile – you may drop out around mile 13, but I know you’ll be there in the end.

Wow, that first mile just flew by. Do I have to do 26 of these? No problem! I want to give all these spectators a high five, but I’m not sure I could take getting rejected. Rejection is real – devastating in the long run. These miles are increasing, and I am literally dying at this moment – breathe – resiliency – I’m unwavering. I hope it’s clear to the spectators that I’m weeping tears of pain, not sadness. What doesn’t kill you, tames you… Also, I am angry. I am mad at myself for all my failures. Unwavering, I move through – those last .2 miles will be worth all this training. With each mile, I say goodbye, with endurance I move through.

Apparently, more than 15 miles is all it takes for me to forget how to experience love.  Breathe – my resilience unwavering. Time has stopped, and the miles are further and further apart. This race seems longer than aforementioned. But, just a few more miles to go. Yes, every mile brings me closer to you. Foolish? Hush, my resolve is firm and I will run faster towards you. I’m closer now than I ever was before – just a little more to go, and my pace is steady. Soon, I’ll cross the line. I won’t place – unless there’s a category of running towards through adversity. Otherwise, a finishers medal will suffice, and at that moment all the pain I endured will subside, and of course, I’ll wear that medal with pride. Unwavering is what it takes to run that marathon – to finish that race.

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