Passage of Time

I have bee present 13,515, breathing for roughly 1,167,696,980 seconds. 37, is the number of years it took me to understand that we are all imperfectly searching for perfection. Perfection is merely a concept created by an unknown source, for unexplainable reseasons. In my aimless search perfection, I recognize, no such reality exists. In honor of my time on this earth, I had the high privilege to close out my final days of age 36 in Shanghai, China. With the good fortune to be a guest of an incredible friend, Ika and their wonderful father (it is here that I will …

Impenetrable silence

A few posts ago, I asked readers to stick with me while I wrote through my grieving process. Today, I’m writing through that discomfort. The past year can be marked by paralyzed vocal chords, screaming out words that vibrate only within me. It’s deafening. My re-entry into society after six months of intentional disconnect strongly affected my emotions. Shortly after relocating to Georgia, I was attacked by a housemate. As a child abuse survivor who has since become an example of recovery and hope, I hid all evidence of the event. In my case, of course, that meant avoidance, evading …

The Fact of Existing 

Recently, I attended the PGM One Summit. The PGM ONE summit convenes hundreds of emerging and established professionals of the global majority to lead the racial equity and inclusion movement in the outdoor and environmental sectors. During the two-day multidisciplinary and intergenerational summit, participants will share, learn, collaborate, heal, celebrate, build community, find support, and sharpen their analysis of racial equity in their field. During the summit, there was an art exchange. As a self-proclaimed, non-artist I did not draw or paint a picture. Instead, I share a couple of written pieces. At the end of the summit, we had …

Words

There is this sound that is spoken. If you listen closely, there is a subtle space between, like a rhythm unseen. So in this language, I will speak. I will reach deep into the dark places of all the indeterminacy that imprison me. These shackles restrict and seek to conquer me. But my words are mighty. I speak with the sounds of my heart. Boom-tick-boom-tick? This is my language of love. Watch my language as my body fuels the beat. Moving and twisting with a rhythm: one, two, three… as I march to this beat and I realize that I …

Life

A beautiful struggle I was born into chaos Nursed on bitterness chest Inhaled discontent Nurtured on hate Teethed on rings of deceit Crawling, walking, running away First words voiceless, silent Educated on lies Beautiful dresses, abused nakedness Her broken promises, futile forgiveness Her aversion to love Behind her shadows I fall, short In her absence, I’ve mastered apathy Through his love I choose empathy 30/30 Challenge 

I am

I am a small girl living in a big town I speak softly yet my words are echoed loudly I am a short girl in a tall suit I am a happy girl who wears a big frown I am hidden behind everything you seek I am so tired but I rarely sleep I rarely listen… but I care I sign only to myself, but the world hears I am murky black, yet vibrant colors flow through the life-line inside of me Here I sit at a small desk staring directly at the sea With grandiose visions of making ripples …